.

[llivv]

'

[nadir]

hi,
i`m not sure what i did wrong, but nontheless:
sorry.
i do the best i can...but sometimes it doesn`t work.

[mdevour]

hi,
i`m not sure what i did wrong, but nontheless:
sorry.
i do the best i can...but sometimes it doesn`t work.

I saw that, nadir, and I agree that yours was a pretty mild bit of behavior, but it did upset the fellow.

The best suggestion I can make is this: The moment you started talking about the poster's behavior instead of staying focused on the problem they came to us for help on, it became personal to them. Since you were speculating on inconsistencies in their posts that made it seem possible they were a troll, it angered them. Could they have ignored it? Yes. Should they have? Well, it's their choice and that's not something we have any control over. Therefore, it's probably best to avoid raising the issue entirely in the first place, if our goal really is to help them.

This point is often made in marriage counseling... As soon as one of you starts saying things like "You always..." "If only you would ..." the "discussion" is quickly headed toward an argument. Keep talking about the object of the discussion and you have a chance of working together on it. Start the accusations rolling, and it's all over.

Peace,

Mike D.

[nadir]

ok, mdevour, i got it. thanks, some good points you mention there.