I have a fresh install of Debian with XFCE on a desktop. I would like to be able to disconnect my monitor from this desktop permanently, and use x11vnc to connect to it on the rare occasion I need to use the graphical desktop. The problem is that x11vnc cannot find an X display, unless I have a monitor connected and use it to log in first. I've tried starting an X session of some kind (via ssh), but I haven't been able to figure out exactly what that means or how to do it, and I always run into "Only console users are allowed to run the X server".
I've been all over the net, trying to piece together the knowledge to do what I want from snippets of code and vaguely related forum posts, but it is beyond me. It's also difficult to piece together how people have gotten this to work before, because they include all kinds of unnecessary steps (like setting up x11vnc with a password, or tunneling it through ssh, or setting up x11vnc as a service) without really explaining which parts are supposed to do something unrelated, and which parts are supposed to help use x11vnc from the login screen. I don't blame them, because they created the various forum posts to answer different questions than I have, but it has made it difficult for me to orient myself.
So, please, if I have a desktop with no monitor, ssh access to said desktop with the ability to start x11vnc and tunnel it through ssh, and a vnc viewer that definitely works with x11vnc (in the case that I can login first)... What do I need to do so that I can remotely login and use the graphical desktop using ssh and x11vnc?
To clarify and reiterate, I don't need help automatically starting x11vnc on bootup; I can do it manually or automate it myself, once I know what to do. I just need to know how to get x11vnc to work at the login screen, without a monitor, and without having logged in first.
I'm a linux beginner, but not completely ignorant. All help is appreciated, but it'd be fantastic if you could explain any answers a bit so I know what exactly I'd be doing if I follow your advice. Thank you in advance.